GRIFFIN DUNKS OVER CAR IN GAME; 3 PLAYERS DEAD

In what was supposed to be the most amazing in-game dunk of the century, turned out to be a crisis when point guard Eric Gordon drove a 2011 Kia Optima onto the court in the 4^th quarter for teammate Blake Griffin to dunk over.

“We were just playing around in practice one day and Eric said, ‘hey, let’s bring that dunk contest dunk into a real game and really get the crowd going’,” said Griffin. “I thought it was a great idea. Let’s do it.”

Gordon drove over three players in order to get to the basket for Griffin to jump over the car. Parents and children alike were in tears from all of the bloodshed. This also resulted in two technical fouls and an immediate ejection for Gordon.

“What the players don’t know,” said NBA Referee Tim Donaghy, “is that article 12, rule 134 explicitly states that any and all use of auto-machinery is banned from the game. Rule number 238 also states that involuntary manslaughter also results in a technical foul, so Gordon had to go.”

Head coach Vinny Del Negro strongly disagreed with the call and shouted his concerns to the refs, which resulted in yet another technical foul.

“I just couldn’t believe it. It’s favoritism. They would never call that on Kobe or LeBron. As hard as our young players work, the refs just won’t give them a break,” said Del Negro.

Griffin said, “Luckily after Gordon ran over three of their players, he also hit Marcus Thornton, who is one of their best free throw shoots. Apparently he’s unable to hit free throws with a broken clavicle…I guess some players just don’t have that love for the game.”