FANTASY FOOTBALL OWNER CLAIMS HE COULD RUN DENVER BRONCOS

Simon with his championship-winning desk and laptop.

After his playoff win on Saturday, manger and 3-time fantasy football league champion, Ray Simon released a statement via fantasy league board, “Seriously though, if I wanted to, I could really run the Denver Broncos. My winning fantasy strategies could easily apply to the real world.”

When fellow league members reminded him that Bronco’s head coach John Fox has 21 years of professional coaching experience, and that GM Brian Xanders was a member of four bowl-winning teams with the Seminoles, Simon responded, “I mean, it’s a 4 and 12 record, come on. You guys are just jealous that I picked up Vick late in the draft.”

Simon  also said, “Look, I realize that my junior high playing experience doesn’t add up to much, but if Roger Goodell showed up at my doorstep and asked me to coach the Broncos, I would seriously consider it. I would put in my two-weeks notice at Staples and tell my wife that we’re moving to Denver. That’s all I’m trying to say.”