FBI ARRESTS KWAME BROWN FOR SHAVING POINTS…HIS ENTIRE CAREER

NBA star Kwame Brown walked out of a Los Angeles hotel in handcuffs Monday morning while being charged with point shaving by the federal court.

When Federal Attorney David Cameron was asked what evidence do they have to convict Kwame, Cameron responded, “We’ve obtained official records from ESPN, TNT and the NBA that show a career average of six points and five rebounds. We then compared that against records that show that he’s 6’11’’ and black. It just doesn’t add up.”

This could be the most dedicated practice of point shaving in the history of sports. A source close to Kwame reports that he will spend countless hours in the gym to practice missing shots, dunks and lay-ups. “It’s a fine art,” said the source, “he may be the most well-rounded point shaver that the NBA has ever seen. Almost like an anti-Jordan”

Prosecuting Attorney Eric Spaldwell made waves in his line of questioning in yesterday’s hearing. Spaldwell was questioning Kwame about the case when Spaldwell then surprisingly hurdled a basketball directly at Kwame’s face. Immediately acting out of instinct, Kwame lifted his hands and caught the ball. The entire courtroom froze in silence, amazed at his quick reflexes. Realizing what he had done, Kwame then dropped the ball and said, “Oops, slipped out of my hands.”

In his best defense Kwame claims that he is only 6’10’’ without his shoes. The jury convenes in two days.