“First they put Kristen Stewart on the cover who is CLEARLY a poor man’s Jennifer Lawrence and now this!?” exclaims Todd Thompson, local air conditioning installer in Muncie, IN.
Thompson continued, “Of course I’m not angry because I’m actually kind of attracted to a transexual who has softy velvety tits. That’s disgusting! And it’s a sin! I would never want to tap that sweet ass! …is it getting a little warm in here? I think I need a glass of water now.”
“Can this part just be off the record for a second…I’m not saying that I wouldn’t fuck Bruce, or Caitlyn, or whatever the fuck he is, but I’d probably put him on the list right behind Kendall and just in front of Kylie Kardashian. I just don’t think I’m ready for a full-blown dude yet. Umm…can I have that magazine back now please?”
When informed that Kylie Jenner was in fact a minor, which would be considered an illegal sexual predatory action in any state, Todd Thompson angrily stormed off and said that he “wishes everything was just like the good ol’ days”….whatever that means.