After facing backlash from the “Religious Freedom” bill, Indiana Republican Governor Mike Pence started a new campaign which would protect people from logic, thought, justice, compassion and anything else that could lead someone to become a more intelligent person.
“America was founded on the right to hate gays, blacks, Muslims, reading, writing and all other forms of intelligence,” said Governor Pence, “At least I think that’s what it was founded on. I didn’t do too well in history class, English class, gym class, and even recess was a hard concept for me to grasp. I always tried to go ‘up’ the slide. Gravity is a tricky son of a bitch.”
“The gay agenda is a very scary and growing trend,” said Pence, “Just the other day I heard from my pastor that every 3 out of 2 people are becoming gay by choice. That fact scares me because it has numbers in it, and I usually ain’t too good with those.”
The “Freedom from Common Sense” bill clearly outlines that its first mandate would be to remove all books from every library across the state of Indiana and replace them with scratch ‘n sniff stickers, and VHS tapes of the Andy Griffith Show.
Thousands of Hoosiers in Indiana gather to support the “Religious Freedom” bill and the “Freedom from Common Sense” bill by holding up signs. On the other side there are also Hoosiers who gather to hold signs in opposition of the bill. You can tell the difference between the two groups because those who support the bill only have pictures on their signs…mostly in crayon and traces of drool stains from their bottom lip.