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Last evening was Broadway’s biggest night, the Tony Awards, when the best and brightest gathered to perform and recognize their outstanding achievements. One viewer was not so thrilled with what he saw in prime time, however. Thaddeus Grubner of some town in Oklahoma explains his views.

“I just thank, that if yer a man, and yer gonna be on national TV during prime time and wearing a tuxedo, you shouldn’t be making out with another man.” Mr. Grubner is referring to several award winners, like Neil Patrick Harris, who won and before their walk up to the podium, kissed their same sex partner.

“It’s disgustin, it’s a part of the homo agenda, and I don’t wanna see it! If I wanted to see two men passionately embracing and sharing a kiss, I would turn it on the NFL draft, gotdammit!”

When MTB explained the irony of that statement, Mr. Grubner wasn’t phased. We also asked why he chose to watch the awards show in the first place.

“I shouldn’t have to be concerned about what I’m gonna see when I flip on the TV There’s enough filth out there without me having to be subjected to it while watching Broadway’s biggest night.”

We pressed Mr. Grubner on why he even watched the awards last night.

“Listen, just cause I’m a truck driver don’t mean I ain’t culturated. I was in a play actin’ group in high school, and it was the most fabulous time of my life! Wait, that sounded gay. You ain’t gonna print that, are you? Please don’t print that! Aww fuck it. I’m gay.”

MTB would like to congratulate last night’s Tony winners, and Mr. Grubner for coming out.


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