“Even at my age a man can still learn,” said Clippers former owner Donald Sterling, “And I certainly learned a big lesson from my lifetime ban from the NBA. And that lesson is that you should never date a half-Mexican woman.”
“At first when I joined OKcupid, I thought it would be a great way to build a meaningful relationship with a woman a quarter of my age while paying her to have sex with me. But now I know better. So from this point on I will only pay white women for sex who are a quarter of my age,” said Sterling as he sits at his PC in a robe waving his cigar in the air with one hand while eating Cocoa Puffs with his other hand.
“Just to be perfectly clear, I will still date other races, but I’m having a hard time getting used to this dating website. Where exactly are the check boxes for ‘negro girls’ and ‘oriental women’? You would think a popular website such as OKcupid would be more in touch with the 21st century.”