Following a ruthless round of lay-offs at a Fortune 500 company, CEO Richard Burton came in today strutting around the office starring people directly in the eye while wearing only whitey-tighty underwear accompanied by the top half of a business suit.
“I was scared,” said Junior Assistant Eric Young, “He just stared right through me like he was looking for a fight. I wanted to ask what’s wrong, but I wanted to keep my job.”
“What’s the matter Michael?” said Burton as he walked up and down the hallways, “It looks like you want to say something to me. You’re obviously staring at something. Would you care to share your thoughts?”
As Michael directed his eye-contact away from the CEO, Burton persisted even further, “Go ahead Michael, say something. Anything. I dare you.”
After Michael refused to speak Burton then turned his attention to others.
“Oh Charlene, you look upset about something. Is it because Michael is a spineless excuse for a man, or is it because you’ve only been here for 6 months? Go ahead Charlene, say something. I hear the unemployment lines really aren’t that bad this time of year.”
“Everyone was so scared,” said Young, “But if it matters, he was wearing a really nice tie that day.”