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comedy, football, funny, nascar, satire, sports


kyle busch
Daytona Beach, Fla. — “Listen, I’m by far the best driver in NASCAR period,” said Busch, “So I figure, if I have legendary skills in one sport I could use those skills to become a legend in another sport. That’s why I’m entering the NFL.”

When asked what position he wants to play, Busch responded, “Hell I don’t know, quarterback, running back, kicker. Maybe all three. Should be easy enough to do any position since I’m the greatest NASCAR driver ever.”

“It’s like this, I’ve been at speeds over 200 mile per hour. What’s the fastest a football player can run? Like 20? That’s not even close. Football is about to see a world of hurt when I’m on the field. I reckon that I’ll probably win two or three Heisman Trophys in my first year in the NFL.”

“And you don’t have to worry about drug testing with me neither,” said Busch, “I’m clean as a whistle. But just to be clear…I do drink Boone’s Farm and plenty of it.”


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